I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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