Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
