Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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