i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
