Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
