You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
