I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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