so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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