i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
