You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
