my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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