never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize