i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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