Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize