ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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