those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
