I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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