Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
