Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
