so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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