You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
