doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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