Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize