was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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