i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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