we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
