I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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