hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize