If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
