i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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