Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
50% drunk capacity currently
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
