You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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