Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
