my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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