At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
...so i touched it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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