Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
