Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
