Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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