Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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