it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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