Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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