So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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