She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
