Me. At least after what I've been through.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You took a bar mat shot.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Randomize
