Can i not drive my cunt home
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
