Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just high enough for therapy.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize