when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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