this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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