i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
is that a dick in a sweater?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.