Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize