Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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