4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
