No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
