Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
