u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
