hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
