butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize