Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
smell my finger.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
