Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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