Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dick very happy bro
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we're so committed to being not committed
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