I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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