Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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