I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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