i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize