You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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