literally had 100 drinks last night.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
