Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
