Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
